Life Lessons
Per me, circa 2018.
Everything is impermanent, including your most treasured relationships. Everyone will leave you, but that doesn’t mean they want to.
Impermanence means that even the most encompassing pain will not last.
For the most part, people are doing their best. You can only do better when you know better, and most of us are largely ignorant about how the world works and how to show up in our relationships in the best way. People show love in very different ways, and this disparity can cause a lot of problems.
Relationships and experiences are vastly more important than money, power, or material possessions. Most experiences are far more meaningful when shared. If you know you want to do it, stop putting it off.
The people you love the most have the power to hurt you the most. This often isn’t intentional. Forgiveness necessarily involves a certain amount of forgetting. Releasing people from the roles you expect them to play grants immense freedom to all involved.
The relentless pursuit of freedom and independence can become prisons if we aren’t careful. In fact, all the things that make us feel safe can imprison us if we lack attentiveness and the willingness to constantly revise.
Change is constant and unavoidable, and can either be heartbreaking or generative, depending on our perspective and ability to release what has passed.
The more we attach to the outcome and try to control the outcome, the more likely we’ll end up disappointed and defeated.
The pursuit of health should include a certain amount of excess and indulgence. A monastic life may offer more longevity but doesn’t necessarily offer a happier or better life.
The pursuit of real happiness requires, absolutely, acknowledgement and acceptance of the bittersweet and unsavory aspects of life. Gratitude is the most direct route to happiness.
Your unconscious self is creating your reality every day. Change your thoughts and beliefs and you will change the entire world. Your primary relationships are reflections of your relationship with your parents. If you want better relationships you have to dig into your past.
We are all called to be healers and we are all called to be artists, and this can manifest in all kinds of subtle and unexpected ways. Whenever possible, be kind (the Dalai Lama seems to think it's always possible, but I'm still working on this one).
Everyone could benefit from therapy.
Relationships don’t come with instruction manuals. Communicate proactively and be patient, especially with yourself. Errors are inevitable.
This life can be so lonely but we’re never actually alone. Celebrate anything and everything you can.
Take nothing for granted.
Take nothing for granted.